The long road beyond
It has been a long while that I have not written an introspective post in public. I must say that I also took steps to make this blog a little more public than it used to be, when I'd even put up robots to disallow web crawlers to index this site.
If I were to make an assessment of the past year, I must say that I was pretty satisfied with the change that occurred (or that I brought) to my life. Many new opportunities opened from merely getting involved in one's community, and the future might be able to tell if being involved in something that I've always liked would result in success (assuredly, hard/smart work and interest are a feedback loop). Very soon, barring disaster and calamity, I am also going to move out for the very first time. I am also very excited about my new job and the possibilities that it may contain and which I may unlock (as an external observer, I once blogged on how a public broadcaster should have a role as a leader in exploiting new medias - just as it did back in the radio, and then television era).
Real-life posts are always a bit sensible, b/c you may choose to reveal something about yourself, which potentially becomes accessible to the entire world, if they wanted to, or were interested enough. For instance, I wrote on China the other day, but quickly retracted what I said the next day, thinking that it was too controversial. And then, on the radio tribune, while most people bashed China, one guy expressed the opinion I wanted to express, which basically says that people in Canada or in the West have no right to criticize China until they're morally clean themselves (which is impossible, with stuff like Afghanistan, or historically with the Native people). I also think that without being overly patriotic, a member of the diaspora such as myself can feel proud for the Olympics, considering that China has come a long way (while still having a long way to go). All of this makes perfect sense, just like how the topic of Tibet doesn't shock me so much when I put it in context with similar actions perpetrated by most Western people with other aboriginals that they conquered: power is the name of the game. That said, I am not the type of person to rub it in your face, but strongly believe that the world should be a level-playing field (you know how I could feel about Iran and its acquisition of nuclear weapons).
RL questions are also sensible b/c they affect your relations with real people in the tangible world - people who're your good friends, best adversaries, etc... I suppose that one thing that I heard from a friend last week, and which I chewed on since then was pertaining to intimate relationships. Throughout your life, you will constantly meet people with whom you will be compatible with. One day, you will choose one person to be your girlfriend or boyfriend; one day, you might decide to marry her/him, have kids with. The specialness, I think, does not come from the attributes of this person. He or she definitely has that something that struck your attention: perhaps her smile, that way she pronounces certain words, or the way she responds to you. You already spent all this time knowing this person - and even though he or she is not perfect, he or she is an integral part of you.
As you gain experience with these things - things of the heart -, you become a little less idealistic, and a little more realistic. Your reflexes might lead you to twist yourself in pain, but really, a jab in the stomach never killed anyone. You know how to react, but the outcome of courting will always be unpredictable.