When angryasianman.com is not good enough

You read modelminority.com, especially this bit, and the comments that follow. XD

Some of my Asian female friends are fully aware of the phenomenon, but on the other hand, can't help but have an attraction for non-Asian males. One, clearly said so, behind a glass of bubble tea, that she only liked white men (or mixed, maybe). Another told me that it "was rare that Asian girls went for Asian guys (but you can be lucky)". There can be reversed situations too - one childhood friend who only dated White/Eurasian guys while growing up in S'pore now only seems to go for FOBs or NABAs.

I don't know. I can either fake cluelessness, or advance the theory that, in a society of immigrants, women tend to integrate better than men, thus, the current documented imbalance between Asian men/women in interracial relationships (now, I'm not even discussing Yellow Fever - or considering the apparently existing gay version of it).

Hmm, maybe you open your horizons if you look at places like Madagascar, where Arabic people, African people, Indian people, and Chinese people mixed across the centuries to give the current Madagassi race.

OTOH, in what I would call in purely academic terms as 'sexual competition', I see the seeds of an imminent civilization shock being planted. I wonder if we can ever live together, peacefully... Where I don't know is as to how much space one's ancestors' culture is given in an immigrant society. Is it, as much as you want, as long as it doesn't impede on the laws of the country (decided by democratic system), or is it, as much as... oh, i don't know.

(On Friday, I was just about listening to a report on Islam in the French suburbs. Most of the people recruted are young men who find themselves alienated in a society that either sees them as scrubs, or which they aren't ready to adhere to. That is a bigger source of "I don't know", when not considering my personal situation.)



zhuni-jen said:

funny stuff... my husband is chinese from vietnam and I am french canadian. When we first got together (mid 90's) it was very rare to see another am/wf couple. Older asian people were usually very nice to us but young asians always asked us if we met on the internet (like an am could not meet a wf any other way?). We were at the mall 2 weeks ago and almost every asian guy we saw had a white wife/gf. I think attitudes are changing about AM. Intelligent white women want to be with intelligent hardworking men regardless of race.
I didn't have an asian thing (though vinh was the 3rd chinese guy I dated in a row). I worked with and met mostly guys that were chinese or indian. I wanted someone who traveled, very smart, spoke more than 1 language, didn't drink, family oriented... and well sadly most white guys don't fit that.

smurfmatic said:

Well! I am also half Chinese from Vietnam, through my mom's side, although only my mom's generation was born there (grandpa emigrated from Guangdong prov), so it was only recently that I understood that there were quite a lot of people with Vietnamese names, etc, who were in fact ethnic Chinese. And I guess that the point to make in this interracial relationships discussion would be that it's a question of osmosis, as I'm sure some of those Chinese mixed with Vietnamese (one of my best friends is ethnic Chinese from Malaysia, so we happen to talk about multiculturalism and national identity a lot based on the situation in both our countries of origin wrt to ethnicity).

Yeah, I must say that I thought it was rare "based on statistics" for the AM/WF couple, but real-life situations seem to balance out really close to 50-50. OTOH, I guess there's a psychological factor at play, on the streets, what _I_ notice are usually the WM/AF couples.

There was this humouristic short film on the topic (and I'm sure, with a lot of views from AM). Rule of thumb is that other people's choice and/or motivations are theirs only, and so are my own. And besides, it's so hard to find a bit of warmth in this cold world.

zhuni-jen said:

though maybe the only reason why we see more AMs with WFs is b/c all the AFs are dating WM? A lot of VN guys we know that are with VN women were introduced by their parents or they went back to VN to find a wife.
Its funny vinh tells other asian people that he is vietnamese and he tells white people he is chinese. He said he identifies as a vietnamese person and feels that the chinese from HK have a very different culture. Plus he had never seen a cantonese movie until he moved to canada b/c of the gov't. Though HK culture has saturated the cantonese speaking world that one can't help soaking up HK culture if you speak cantonese. Vinh's family had only been in VN for 1 or 2 generations. His great grandparents were from guan dong as well. He still has aunts and uncles in china.
Anyway the world has really changed since he left VN. They bought his grandma in cholon a DVD player so she could watch HK soaps :0)

smurfmatic said:

Interesting theory, but one of the AM friends I have who is currently dating a WF was specifically telling how he disliked AF because they reminded him of his mother. I don't know how generally race is taken into account when choosing a mate - I think that it ends with how well we communicate (or share a common view of life) with that given person, but it all may start with preconceptions we have about a given sub-group of person (so, people dating only geeks, b/c they are geeks themselves). For instance, the nice introverted Asian guy is a stereotype I dislike, but OTOH, act right into (to some extent). But that depends on one's exposure to a given sub-group of people. I wouldn't think that in Asian ghettos like Vancouver or Toronto people actually believe in such stereotypes... :P What do you think?

Yeah, being family-oriented is a question of how one's brought up. I think it's often the case (maybe a stereotype I enouncing?) that immigrant parents bring up their kids in a very strictly familial manner, based on somewhat traditional values (although I don't think society would survive very long if we didn't have some sort of stability the family -extended, reconstituted, etc- brings). You've read Banana Boys? If not, I think you'd really like it.

I have lived my outside-the-house life as a French Canadian. In fact, French is still the language I speak the most! But 4-5 years ago, I've found the "CBC" tag very appealing. It lets me be a Canadian/Quebecer by the fact of my place of residence, and at the same time lets me be Chinese by the traditions I've kept.

My mom is from VN, but my dad's born in Madagascar (also one generation), so being "Chinese" is where we join. And I think that as a means to be snob, we like to think of HK as a real homeland (parts of my family transitted by HK, or even still live there).

I can hardly see any future for the HK culture. It seems like China's influence is so overwhelming that in fifty years, we won't even think of Hong Kong as a significant factory of exportable culture... Most Cantopop stars are now singing in Putonghua, and directors are shifting production to Mainland China. Just a matter of equalization maybe.

I visited Cholon when I was in HCMC, and was surprised there were still a few Chinese around... Now that I think of it, it's not really surprising, b/c it's been their country of birth, but I always thought most of them left b/c they were persecuted, or no longer had the upper hand in bribing the govt.

zhuni-jen said:

Vinh dated me b/c I was different. I wasn't chinese, I spoke and read mandarin at the time, we studied the same subject in college, we both didn't drink, we both hate karaoke, we both love 70's rock and I took an interest in him.
true.. hk and china are melting into one. I guess living in Toronto 5 years ago was different. The HKers looked down on the vietnamese. I saw this within our own family.
Its funny at work vinh is called Kenny (his family calls him wing). The chinese from china don't consider him Chinese, the vietnamese don't think he is vietnamese.. he feels like the ambiguous asian guy. Which is fine to him b/c he doesn't want to be stereotyped. Same deal when we worked in Toronto a group of 15 of us contained 8 HKers, vinh, me, 2 white guys and 3 indians. The HKers spoke in cantonese all day and never included him.

zhuni-jen said:

and I did read terry woo's book. Very good. The author is a great guy too. have you read american knees? It just came out as a movie.

smurfmatic said:

Right, I now remember that you commented on my Banana Boys post, and you said how you actually spoke to the author. ^^V

Oh man, American Knees sounds like a book I must absolutely put my hands on. *checks library records*

(And now I recognize the movie, which I've come across while shopping for Banana Boys.)

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